The more I talk to abuse survivors and victims, the more it makes me sad and upset that their stories have gone unheard. It's not because they never told anyone, either. Some have gone forward to speak about what happened to them. However, their cases were dismissed since no one else looked into it or took action to do anything to stop it. So these voices are silenced due to people not giving them the chance to be heard. Perhaps this is why many abuse victims and survivors don't share their story. They figure no one will hear them and do anything about it.
No one should have to suffer abuse. Yet so many cases never get investigated. Authorities will tell the person that they will look into it, but instead they throw the case out, doing nothing about it. Thus the abuse continues. Sadly, by the time action is taken to stop it, sometimes it is too late. Not every victim survives abuse. The ones who do survive are left with deep scars and damaging after-effects such as flashbacks, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, trust issues, self-infliction, low self-esteem, PTSD, among other things. I believe abuse is a serious issue that fails to get enough attention. As a result, many lives are destroyed, scarred, and broken because of it.
Alot of victims never go forth to turn their abuser in. They are afraid of what the person will do if they find out they told. In silence, they deal with it on their own. Abusers use their power to threaten their victims into silence. Their ultimate goal is total control over the person's life, making them afraid so they won't go forward. Abuse victims often feel trapped in their lives. They are forced to live as if nothing is wrong. Most wear a smile on their face, pretending things are fine since they don't want others to suspect anything. When questioned about scars and bruises on the outside, they lie about it out of fear, covering for their abuser. Deep down inside, they are screaming for help, for a way out from it.
I was one of those kids who never went forward, but suffered in silence. To everyone around me, I appeared to be fine. I learned to hide my emotions from others. My dad threatened to report me to the police for being suicidal if I turned him in. Since I didn't want to be locked up, I kept quiet. Only once did I actually tell someone, a school counselor. Although I thought it was just between us, word got back to my father. After that, I never spoke about it again. Everyday I felt trapped, wishing I could die. I felt weak, worthless and ugly on the inside. I believed that I deserved it, that it was all my fault, and I did something wrong. I lost my self-esteem. More and more, I was pushed to where I hated myself. Inside, I had a broken heart. For a long time I self-inflicted and battled depression as well as anxiety attacks. Not until I moved out of my parents' house did I begin to heal. I am still healing, but I found the strength to use my voice finally to talk about what I went through. My abuser has no control over me now and never will again. I have taken back my life.
Even though it's not their fault, abuse victims tend to believe that they did something wrong and deserve the abuse. Often they are left with feelings of shame and worthlessness. They also may feel inferior, distancing themselves from others because they think they aren't "normal" or good enough. It's hard for them to trust others so they put up barriers around their hearts. I think people who haven't been abused don't always realize how much those who have been abused go through. For those who haven't been abused but know someone who has, I encourage you to talk to them and offer to help them or find them help. If the person comes to you needing to talk, listen to them. Research on how to help them if you are unsure about what to do or how to handle a situation. Most importantly, let them know you are there for them and that it's not their fault. People feel better and are more comfortable sharing their story when they know someone is there who is willing to listen and not judge them on their past.
For those fellow abuse survivors out there, I urge you to be a leader and speak out. You can help pave the way for other victims and survivors to share their stories, too. Hearing your testimony lets them know they are not alone and gives them courage to use their voice. We cannot fight this war on abuse alone. One voice is not nearly as loud as thousands. It's time for us to come together, taking a strong stand on the issue of abuse. It's time to be heard and help give silenced victims and survivors their voices back. United together, we can save lives and help prevent abuse from happening to other innocent souls. It is time to make a change and obtain justice for the pain we've endured. Together, standing strong, we can make an impact on others and win this war on abuse.