Survivors United

Poems To Help Heal The Broken Heart

I started writing poetry as a way to release all feelings and emotions that I kept locked inside for so many years. I have found that writing is the best therapy for me. It really gives me strength to talk about what I went through and put into words all those feelings that I never shared with anyone before about the abuse. Through my poetry I hope to encourage and motivate people who have gone through abuse to keep going in life no matter what. I hope to reach out through my writing. I believe that writing not only helps me to heal but also allows me to reach out to others and help them as well in their journey to heal. The following are just some of the poems I have written. I have a book that is currently in the production process and hasn't been released yet. The book will be called Taking My Life Back: Poems From The Healing Heart Of An Abuse Survivor. It should be out in bookstores by January of 2007. This is just a taste of some of the poems that will be in the book.

Keep Fighting

Sometimes in life we feel alone and trapped
In certain situations we find it hard to adapt.
Things that have happened to us we keep locked inside
Our deepest emotions from others we hide.

To ourselves we choose to stay
Pushing those who try to get close away.
Our pain we attempt to deal with on our own
Because to others we don't want to make our problems known.

For ourselves and everyone else we try to be strong
Yet we start wondering where in life we belong.
When we do take the chance to speak out
People don't understand what the things we go through are about.

We find ourselves right back at the start
Left alone to fix our own broken heart.
Our thoughts we dare not speak aloud
So in darkness and loneliness our life is enshroud.

Deep within we know that for us life holds so much more
That when one window closes, waiting for us is an open door.
Holding onto our hope and faith gets us through every hard time
With determination, the mountains we face in life we climb.

Leaving the past behind us, we move ahead
Upon the path left for us by our heroes we tread.
We know not the meaning of defeat
In the presence of our adversaries we refuse to retreat.

When no one else has faith in us, in ourselves we believe
Knowing in our hearts that anything we set out to do we can achieve.
With all we've been through, we've come too far to quit
Using the strength we possess, our enemies we outwit.

No matter where we've been or what we've had to endure, life offers us a second chance
If we maintain a positive attitude far in life we will advance.
The road that we travel on may at times get rough
However we can get by because what we went through has made us tough.

For the light at the end of the tunnel we shall continue to reach
And to others lost along the way how to keep fighting we will teach.
The message of hope to them we can convey
As we live for this moment we are given today.

On our past we won't look back but leave it all behind
Moving forward to our future our place in life we find.
We are survivors who are able to win this fight
While we keep our dreams and goals in sight.

Back On Our Feet

In our lives we have endured alot of heartache
Being put through traumatic events that caused us to break.
Silently we carried on
Even when a part of us felt gone.

Our problems we pushed to the side
Lost and alone we had no one in whom we could confide.
With a smile on our face, we managed to make it through the day
Fooling people into thinking we were finding our way.

Afraid of speaking out, we suffered in silence
But feelings we lacked inside became intense.
For a long time of those who hurt us we lived in fear
Yet we refused to shed one tear.

Friends walked out on us because they didnt understand
Not one person could we find to lend us a hand.
Our cries for help went unheard
So in our hearts pain we secretly harbored.

For things that happened to us we weren't prepared
We fought battles alone since our secrets with no one could be shared.
To others it seemed our problems were insignificant
From our lives many of them became absent.

By lies we were surrounded
Yet for truth we hunted.
About us rumors spraed from the mouths of hypocrites
Plunging us to the social level of misfits.

Taking one step forward, we were knocked two back
As we tried to defend ourselves from our enemies' attack.
Old painful wounds they attempted to reopen
Our world they desired to darken.

In our faces our hurtful past they shoved
Once again we started feeling unloved.
Out of nowhere insecurities began to resurface
And on our dreams and goals we started losing our focus.

Then something inside us told us we'd come too far to quit
That in this world we would find where we fit.
Standing tall, we marched on
Knowing our dreams weren't totally gone.

Onto our faith and hope we steadfastly held
Feelings of inferiority we dispelled.
Four our future our own story we decided to write
Believing in ourselves we knew we could win the fight.

Far away from negativity we now move
False rumors about us our stories of survival disprove.
Ignoring cruel remarks made towards us that are filled with hate
We walk through destiny's gate.

A better life for ourselves we choose
Realizing by taking chances we have nothing to lose.
On our past we won't dwell
But to those painful memories we bade farewell.

To a brighter future and new life we look straight ahead
On the path that other survivors have made for us we tread.
No one and nothing can have us beat
Because deep within us lies courage and strength that helped us get back on our feet.

Who I Am

I am a fighter and survivor in life
Who has fought hard to rise above so much strife.
As a little girl I suffered plenty of abuse
Letting my past hold me back is one thing I refuse.

Emotional scars have been left on my heart
But in life I am getting a new start.
In my face are shoved mistakes I once made
Yet no longer of my abusers am I afraid.

From painful memories lessons I learn
Determined never to that way of life will I return.
They thought they had me beat
How wrong they were because here I am back on my feet.

Alone my demons and fears I faced
Fighting them off, a new destiny I embraced.
Life is too short for me to live it in regret
To a better place in my life I want to get.

This road I'm traveling on has been rough
At times I feel I've had enough
Then I think of everything in my past I've overcome
And after making it this far, giving up would be dumb.

With others a story of survival I have to share
Letting them know there is hope in the midst of despair.
For me giving up is not a choice
After being silent for so long, I finally found my voice.

Looking back now, I see it wasn't my fault what I went through
From the haunting past myself I withdrew.
Sure for the hell my abusers kept me in I was forced to pay
However, those events made me the strong person I am today.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and those traumatic events undo
Since I can't, I have my own dreams and goals to pursue.
Besides that stuff is now behind me
Breaking loose from all that pain, to live my own life, I am free.

Why spend time worrying about the past
When before me stretches a future that is bright and vast.
I know I'm still going to have those moments I fall
Off the ground I will pick myself up, continuing to walk tall.

Negativity in my life has no room
With a positive attitude a better life I will resume.
Gaining confidence, again in myself I believe
Knowing that personal victory I can achieve.

Defeat and surrender to me are words unknown
I refuse to back down even if I must stand alone.
A new era in my life is taking place
As all doubt from my mind I erase.

For me life has so many opportunities in store
Not once looking behind me, I walk through that open door.
Who I am people ask, wanting to know
I am a fighter and survivor who rose above points in my past where I once sunk low.

Behind The Mask

Everyday on her face she wears a smile
Covering the feelings she has of being an exile.
Thinking she's fine, everyone is fooled by her appearance
Not knowing that she lives her life in silence.

Behind that smile lies a heart full of pain
The nightmares she goes through she can't explain.
Even though those days are gone and she's on her own
For the after-effects she has been forced to atone.

All these years she kept everything locked inside
But from the haunting memories there's nowhere to hide.
They replay themselves in her mind
And behind walls she built, she stays confined.

Her story to others remains unknown
Distancing herself, she spends her days alone.
Trying to be strong, she begins falling apart
Seeing people around her happy, she wishes she could have a new start.

Her problems she pushes far away
As a brave front she puts on display.
If no one suspects anything is wrong
Then through the regular motions of each day she can move along.

She fears that the truth they won't understand
That by speaking out, to a life of an outcast she'll be banned.
Would they see a real person still if for them her story she outlined
Or would they only focus on the scars that were left behind.

She thinks her life is not good enough compared to the lives they lead
In the midst of their success, she gets buried.
To be truly happy again becomes her desire
Yet she finds herself standing alone to fight the fire.

For the things that happened to her, she takes the blame
Fading away, she feels she is just another stranger without a name.
Her cries for help go unheard
All over the floor, the pieces of her broken heart are scattered.

Flashbacks of events keep her trapped
Now in life she's finding it harder to adapt.
Anxiety and panic attacks leave her weak
Fear along with self-doubt into her mind sneak.

Cuts on her body testify to emotional pain she tried to release
The nightmares continue haunting, not allowing her any peace.
She watches her life spiraling out of control
Holding on to all she has left, she attempts to escape this hellhole.

No longer can she pretend everything's all right
She knows she must tell someone if she's to win this fight.
Speaking out, for help to heal she decides to ask
Finally emerging from behind her mask.

Live For Today

Life is a journey filled with many a twist and turn
But from it, valuable lessons we learn.
Trials we go through are never fun
From our problems we sometimes try to run.

Feelings and emotions we push aside
Wishing that from our past we could hide.
Things we went through we take the blame for
As inside ourselves we constantly battle an emotional war.

Of every mistake made we keep count
Thinking that because of them to nothing will we amount.
Yet for situations beyond our control we feel shame
And in life's cruelty we become game.

By friends who don't understand we are betrayed
Fro the actions of those who hurt us we paid.
Labeled as outcasts, we watch in disbelief as they walk away
Leaving us alone to face each day.

Carrying a heavy burden on our back, our world seems to fall apart
Lost and confused to get our life back we wonder where to start.
The road we are traveling on just appears so long
Coming upon a fork, we fear choosing the path that is wrong.

Making a decision we listen to our heart
On the road less traveled to our destiny we start.
Paying no mind to the haters, we head towards a new chapter in our lives waiting to be written
Into making changes in our life we put all our attention.

Life offers us more opportunities then we can even imagine
And having a fresh beginning always remains an option.
Our future doesn't have to reflect our haunting past
No matter what we've gone through, we can achieve success that will last.

We must keep running life's race
With positive thoughts all negativity we need to replace.
The way we want to live our life starts in our mind
But to reach the place where we desire to be, our past we must completely leave behind.

Although once victims, we no longer have to play the part
Now as survivors a new path to our dreams we can chart.
We don't have to return to those days because they're gone
Since we can't go back and change them, to a bright future we might as well move on.

We aren't the same person as we were before
This time we possess power and strength to spread our wings and soar
Who cares if people don't like us for how we are
In the end, it is our courage that takes us far.

Life is lived best by moving forward
If we dwell in the past, by defeat we will be conquered.
All those who hurt us when they walked out forget
Because life is too short for us to live in regret.

Focusing on our plans, we shall explore a new horizon
For we are taking back everything from us that was stolen.
Yesterday we won't look back on since it is far away
Rather all our energy we spend living for today.

Speaking Out

I found myself thinking about you today
And how for your actions I was forced to pay.
Because of you I started to lose my hope
Finding myself hanging on to the end of life's rope.

You made me feel so much shame
For abuse I suffered I took all the blame.
My life you tried to destroy
The pain you put me through you seemed to enjoy.

Emotional scars you left on my heart
Your hate tearing me more apart.
I hated myself for the hell you put me through
About the things happening no one else knew.

You threatened me into silence
I grew afraid just standing in your presence.
Protecting myself, about home life I lied
Feelings and emotions I kept locked inside.

I strove to be everything you wanted me to be
Yet from your anger I still was not free.
In me you refused to see the good
Forcing me to grow up too fast, you stole my childhood.

Upon me so many expectations you placed
For every mistake I made by you I was disgraced.
My trust in you I completely lost
Defending myself against you, often our tempers crossed.

When I moved out there was nothing you could do
Far from you to a better place I flew.
No longer did I find myself powerless under your control
This time I walked away to acheive my life's goal.

Looking back, I see you wanted me to feel pain you felt
Because in your childhood to you a cruel hand life dealt.
So you had me relive your nightmare
Since your own heart you wouldn't allow to repair.

The abuse I endured was never my fault
Did it make you feel better when your wife and daughter you would assault?
You didn't care what it cost, your dictatorship you wished to enforce
I wonder if ever once about it you felt any remorse.

I'm not that scared, insecure little girl anymore
Your abuse helped me grow stronger to fight this war.
After years of silence, my voice I have found, putting it to use
For the way you treated me, I won't make another excuse.

You can only watch as to the world your actions I expose
Above the pain you brought me I finally rose.
In my life you have no say
Maybe you'll realize how much you hurt me someday.

Life is too short for me to live in regret
Although the cruel lessons you taught me I'll never forget.
My own life now I must live
Not another part of it to you will I give.

The moment has come for me to take a stand
I have nothing left to lose since from your life I have been banned.
With my voice I will speak out
Confidence in myself has replaced all self-doubt.

Whatever It Takes

There are days when you feel like you're at the end of your rope
Trying to hold on, you start losing all hope.
Looking into your eyes, I see the hidden pain
That inside is driving you insane.

Seeing you hurt tears me apart
I just wish I could heal your broken heart.
You tell me that you don't belong in this place
I'm here by your side in life's hard race.

I see in you the inner beauty
And I believe in the best you can be.
A fighter is what you are
Survival is your game, and in life you've come so far.

Never once have I thought you were weak
Because to me you are special and unique.
Sure, I can't chase away all your unknown fear
But for you I will always be here.

If I could, all your pain I would take
Just know that through everything you I won't forsake.
In life you've helped me get a new start
Putting my heart together when it fell apart.

When you are feeling beat
I will take your hand, pulling you back up on your feet.
Letting you give up is something I won't allow you to do
For whatever it takes, I'm going to the very end see you through.

Together we can overcome anything as we stand our ground
In us strength to endure it all can be found.
Trials we will bravely meet
Something we don't know the meaning of is defeat.

Nothing can hold us back
Our courage and determination are able to beat any attack.
Through this journey and to our destiny our hearts we shall follow
Never letting our faith and hope go.

Darkness we may have to fight
But at the end of the tunnel we will walk out into light.
Inside us, we are not dead
Pushing on, we'll reach a bright future up ahead.

Anything we are able to achieve
But we must believe.
We have the power to conquer any obstacle in our way
And as survivors, we will get through each day.

I can't save you from pain you feel
However, through the tough times I am here to help you deal.
With life we are far from done
This battle we're fighting can be won.

So when you think that you're starting to lose
Reember that helping you in this fight is what I choose.
I don't and won't ever focus on your mistakes
For you to see the good in yourself, I'll do whatever it takes.

Escape

In school she's a social outcast
When it comes to friends, she always finishes last.
No one gives her the time of day
As she walks down the hall, they move out of her way.

Passing by, she feels their piercing stares
Approaching her is something no student dares.
Gossip floats through the air
To hear the whole story they don't even care.

The black eye on her face she tries to hide
But everyone knows it's a product of her father's angry side.
All over town he has the reputation as a major drunk
Who drinks his life away since into debt he sunk.

Every night he comes home late
Making his family suffer pain because of his hate.
His kids wonder what happened to the father they once knew
Somewhere, somehow a monster out of him grew.

Home has turned into a battlefield
Against his furious blows themselves they try to shield.
The beatings continue on
Until it seems all their strength is gone.

Her mom left the family over a year ago
Where she went she didn't let them know.
Never once did she send a note in the mail
Her absence in her children's lives drove another nail.

Her little brother she must raise on her own
Leaving her childhood behind into an adult she has grown.
Stepping up, she takes responsibility as woman of the house
Although her life resembles a game of cat and mouse.

Each night as she tucks her brother into bed
She fervently prays there is a brighter future ahead.
Her dream is for them to break away
Getting to safety where they will be okay.

She yearns to tell someone about the abuse
But she thinks they will only treat her as if she has severe issues.
A part of her fears by speaking out what her dad might do
Enough pain all ready she and her brother have been through.

Secretly she begins developing an escape route
Waiting for the moment they can break out.
Day after day she plans and plots
While her father visits the bar, downing his shots.

His beatings grow more intense
Protecting her brother, she takes many hits in his defense.
Bruises cover her body and face
After his brutal attacks, she feels nothing except disgrace.

Then one night when he's asleep, her sibling she awakes
Thinking about what he will do if he catches them, she shakes.
Yet the moment for escaping is finally here
Staying strong for her brother, she shows no fear.

Silently they sneak out in the middle of the night
Relieved they didn't go through another fight.
Suddenly from behind them a gun is fired
For running away to gain freedom, their lives are the prices required.

His heavy tread echoes on the ground
Because of the late hour, nobody else can be found.
Grabbing her brother's hand, she runs as fast as she can
Hoping she will be able to outrun this madman.

Adrenaline coursing through her body, she doesn't stop
Up ahead she spots an old abandoned shop.
Once inside she drags her brother into a closet
Hearing their dad's footsteps, she tells him to keep his mouth shut.

Her heart races deep inside
As she prays he doesn't discover the place where they hide.
Outside the door, his hand rests on the knob
Not daring to breathe, she chokes back a sob.

If he opens the door, she knows their lives end
And their funerals relatives and friends will attend.
Down her cheeks tears stream
Biting her tongue she stifles a scream.

Through the door she hears his evil taunts
Saying that finishing them off is what he wants.
Slowly the knob turns to the right
The two kids huddle together in fright.

Suddenly other voices are heard
From in front of the closet, her dad stumbles backward
As the door opens, they look up to see police standing outside
Sitting in a police car, handcuffed, to prison their father waits for the long ride.

Witnessing the nightmare, an undercover angel decided to follow
An anonymous phone call to the police told them where to go.
Hugging and crying the children know they are now free
Never again to be at their father's mercy.

Journey

In life we all have a different mission to carry out
None of us travel the exact same route.
We each have our own story to tell
Some of us coming from backgrounds that have put us through hell.

When it comes down to it, we're all searching for a place to belong
Wanting to forget those who have done us wrong.
True happiness is the desire we share
And each of us has been left on his own to fare.

We strive to be perfect
Putting back together pieces of our lives that were wrecked.
Many hard lessons in life we learn
Secrets we don't tell inside us burn.

Under harsh criticism our hope is buried
For so long painful memories we have carried.
Of our problems we do not speak
But when others treat us poorly, we turn the other cheek.

Trust for us can be tough to give
As everyday becomes a struggle to live.
Our souls feel old
From rough situations and circumstances that into our lives rolled.

With so much deception around us, we question what is real
Wondering if emotional wounds ever heal.
In silence we go our way
For no one hears what we have to say.

About their success people boast
While we just stand in the shadows, no more then a ghost.
We try to hold on to something that will last
But everything passes by us so fast.

We watch as our lives spiral out of control
And on our minds and bodies stress takes its toll.
The tribulations in life we did not choose
Certainly we weren't planning on forever to pay pain's dues.

Life is definitely a journey
One to which God holds the key.
None of us know what tomorrow brings
But to get through life, we must test our wings.

Survival is the name of the game
It's not for the faint-hearted or lame.
Needed in this journey is endurance
Against opposition we must always maintain a strong defense.

On our own adventures we embark
Each aiming for our own mark.
Adversaries we have to outrun
For they want to see us with life be done.

Along the way, we will face many a trial
Once we conquer it, we'll come out with a smile.
In life we need to make the most of it
We have to take risks and not just on the sidelines sit.

It's all about taking a chance
And to the music do our own dance.
Remember life is a journey
Beyond the horizon we need to be willing to see.

Taking My Life Back

For several years about the abuse I kept silent
As everyday to an emotional hell me you sent.
By the pain you made me suffer, I was imprisoned
From hate you harbored, your heart hardened.

I was never good enough in your eyes
Attempting to control my life, you kept me blinded by your lies.
You only saw me as a mistake
Your cruel words caused so much heartache.

Love you never showed
Instead rage bottled inside made you explode.
Many times I crossed your anger's path
Suffering later on from the traumatic aftermath.

Of your expectations for me I fell far short
Taking all the blame for how you treated me, my life I wanted to abort.
In me you pointed out every flaw
I hated the reflection in the mirror I saw.

Every negative remark you said to me I believed
From those, the belief of being a failure was conceived.
Alone in the dark so many tears I shed
As being near you became the thing I dread.

From my life childhood years you stole
Tearing apart my heart and soul.
You despised my existence
Viewing me as nothing more then a nuisance.

To destroy me you were determined
By your abuse into silence I was threatened.
You tried to kill my voice
Hoping that by controlling my life I couldn't make a choice.

However I grew strong enough to break away
Deciding it was time for me to move on to a better day.
Standing up to you, I didn't feel afraid
letting you know that my character you would no longer degrade.

To get to where I am now I fought
Using as my motivation the lessons that you taught.
The walls you put up in front of me I broke through
Moving onto a future bright and new.

My life you failed to completely destroy
Now the freedom to be myself I enjoy.
You can't hurt me anymore
Because I'm not that scared, vulnerable person I was before.

Those years I lost I can't reclaim
But realizing it was never my fault, myself I don't blame.
At the end of the tunnel I found my light
I've made it this far and shall continue to fight.

My life is far from being finished
The fears I had of you once have been vanquished.
After all you put me through, I am still alive
If there's one thing I know, it's that I will survive.

Gone forever are those painful years, never to return
From them, close to my heart, I carry the lessons I did learn.
Now in this journey I set out on a new track
Breaking my silence, I am taking my life back.

Standing Strong Together Against Abuse